Love and Compromise
by Delphine Pryde
Summary: Suikoden II. Rand the second hero, faces trials as a leader and of his feelings for a certain blond friend. There is yaoi, people! Joei x Hero2, a bit of Camus x Hero2
1. Love

Disclaimers: I don't own Suikoden II.

Author's Note: I named the hero: Rand. This is the first part of a two part series.

Love and Compromise

Chapter One: Love

By Delphine Pryde

They stare at me, as if those eyes will turn me into the hero that is so desperately needed. I say yes, I will become the leader of this small army. With such a promise have I truly turned traitor to my homeland of Highland? Who among this old castle would blame me when you consider what my own prince had done? Joei might see it as a betrayal against him, but wasn't it he who betrayed me?

"Lord Rand?" It was Shu. The dark-haired man must have been calling my name for a while for there was a slight hint of worry on his face.

"Sorry...I was thinking. What did you want?"

"We were trying to decide what to name the castle, North Window doesn't seem to fit it anymore." That was Viktor. The bear of a man had been the first to show me that the Jowston City-States weren't just another enemy to fight against. He and Flik had introduced me to Anabelle, Mayor of Muse. It was Anabelle who had shown me what it meant to be a leader. It is she who should have been made the leader if Joei hadn't cut her life short.

Joei...it all comes back to him. Why must everything remind me of him? He haunts my thoughts as sure as he haunts my heart. Heh, I sound like a love sick puppy.

I have to wonder if Joei might have chosen differently if I had had the courage to admit that I loved him. But I was afraid of rejection. Some brave hero I am.

"Anabelle," I finally said. "Anabelle Castle."

Apple nodded. "The soldiers from Muse will appreciate you naming the castle after their former mayor."

"And boost morale. Good thinking, Lord Rand," praised Shu, nodding.

That wasn't really why, but I wasn't going to say that to them. They didn't need to know that I was using her name to remind me of my failures, so I wouldn't make the same mistakes. At least I hoped.

"Leave here," Joei pleaded with me. "Take Nanami and run as far away as you can."

Here in the woods of Greenhill was the last place I expected to see my former best friend. But here he was, asking me to leave the Dragon Army leaderless. I closed my eyes briefly before staring into his blue eyes with my brown ones. "I can't," I told him, regret in my voice.

"Then we're enemies." His voice sounded pained.

"We don't have to be." I told him the story of Grandpa and his friend Han.

"We're not them," he told me sadly.

"I see." I felt a pang within my heart. It was Muse all over again. I was going to lose him again. No not this time, I wouldn't allow it to happen. Before Joei had time to even blink I crushed our lips together. I put everything I felt for him into that kiss.

To my relief Joei kissed back with almost bruising force. It felt as if he was trying to possess me, body and soul, with just his mouth. It ended, leaving a tingling sensation on my lips and me gasping for air.

"You realize that you have just seriously screwed up this situation," he said, his voice filled with raw emotion.

"How can loving you mess this war up any more then it already is?" I asked.

"You love me?" he sounded stunned. "Even after what I've done?"

I pulled him into a close hug. "Yes, of course."

He gave a shaky laugh and wiped away the beginning of tears. "You're the leader of the Dragon Army and I'm a Highland general. I'm not suppose to love you, but I do. I've loved you for such a long time, but was never able to tell you."

I was stunned. I had never imagined he was hiding his feelings for me like I hid my feelings for him.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"We go our separate ways."

"But-" He placed his fingers over my lips, halting any protest.

"Just for now. I have a plan, trust me."

"I will."

My ears picked up people shouting out "Rand" and "Lord Rand."

Joei gave a wry grin. "Better go before they find us here together." He gave me a quick kiss on the lips before I left. As I lost sight of him, I wondered if we ever would be together again.


	2. Betrayal

Hidey ho, people! Been awhile since I last updated this, hasn't it? I'll try to be a bit better. There is a **lemon** in this chapter, just so you know.

Love and Compromise

Chapter Two: Betrayal

Broken Love 

MY Spectre around me night and day

Like a wild beast guards my way;

My Emanation far within

Weeps incessantly for my sin.

'A fathomless and boundless deep,

There we wander, there we weep;

On the hungry craving wind

My Spectre follows thee behind.

'He scents thy footsteps in the snow

Wheresoever thou dost go,

Thro' the wintry hail and rain.

When wilt thou return again?

'Dost thou not in pride and scorn

Fill with tempests all my morn,

And with jealousies and fears

Fill my pleasant nights with tears?

'Seven of my sweet loves thy knife

Has bereavèd of their life.

Their marble tombs I built with tears,

And with cold and shuddering fears.

'Seven more loves weep night and day

Round the tombs where my loves lay,

And seven more loves attend each night

Around my couch with torches bright.

'And seven more loves in my bed

Crown with wine my mournful head,

Pitying and forgiving all

Thy transgressions great and small.

'When wilt thou return and view

My loves, and them to life renew?

When wilt thou return and live?

When wilt thou pity as I forgive?'

'O'er my sins thou sit and moan:

Hast thou no sins of thy own?

O'er my sins thou sit and weep,

And lull thy own sins fast asleep.

'What transgressions I commit

Are for thy transgressions fit.

They thy harlots, thou their slave;

And my bed becomes their grave.

'Never, never, I return:

Still for victory I burn.

Living, thee alone I'll have;

And when dead I'll be thy grave.

'Thro' the Heaven and Earth and Hell

Thou shalt never, quell:

I will fly and thou pursue:

Night and morn the flight renew.'

'Poor, pale, pitiable form

That I follow in a storm;

Iron tears and groans of lead

Bind around my aching head.

'Till I turn from Female love

And root up the Infernal Grove,

I shall never worthy be

To step into Eternity.

'And, to end thy cruel mocks,

Annihilate thee on the rocks,

And another form create

To be subservient to my fate.

'Let us agree to give up love,

And root up the Infernal Grove;

Then shall we return and see

The worlds of happy Eternity.

'And throughout all Eternity

I forgive you, you forgive me.

As our dear Redeemer said:

"This the Wine, and this the Bread."'

William Blake

I didn't hear anything about Joei until Radat fell to the Highland army. Klaus spotted the group I had led to investigate the town's condition. Cordial as always, he delivered the news of Joei's upcoming marriage to Princess Jillia. A knife through the heart would have been more welcome. So much for our eternal love.

That night I got drunk for the first time. Leona had taken the night off and her replacement was less particular about who he served as long as you had the money.

Nanami didn't find me until I was on my fifth glass. I had hoped that I could drown my loneliness in alcohol. No such luck. Apparently the Bright Shield rune gives it's barer a high tolerance for alcohol. Not believing I was sober, she ended up conscripting the Red Knight Camus' help to see me to my room.

AS soon as I was out of the bar, Camus at my side ready to steady me if I did end as drunk as my sister thought I was, and on my way to my room did Nanami head back to give the bartender a scathing lecture on serving alcohol to minors.

When we reached my room, Camus turned to go until I gripped his cape. "Stay with me," I asked, looking down at the floor.

He knew that I wasn't asking for any king of platonic comfort. It was common for Knights of Matilda to enjoy the more intimate side of companionship. It was a way to show respect and honor for a fellow warrior and relieve frustration during campaigns where females were scarce, since none were aloud into the Knighthood of Matilda.

Callused fingers gripped my chin, gently forcing me to raise my head. Brown-eyes stared into my own. For a second, I thought he might refuse me. I knew Miklotov and he were close, but I wasn't sure how close.

A gentle caress of lips answered my question. At least I wouldn't be alone tonight.

Aware of my virginity, Camus took the lead. He pealed both our clothes off without haste. Blushing, I roamed my eyes over his bare flesh. His entire body was corded in muscle, a few faint sword scars stood out on his chest. His manhood, as sculpted and powerful looking as the rest of him, stood out proudly. I felt as if a fire had ignited in my groin.

Camus laid me on my bed, hands exploring my form. I arched into his touch as callused fingers caressed my nipples, making them like hard little pebbles. He gave ma smirk before taking my right nipple into his mouth. All his sucking, biting, and tongue lapping had me moaning like an instrument, especially when he turned his attention to the other nipple while gripping my manhood with a hand. He stroked it with upward and downward motions, until his fingers were soaked with pre-cum.

One finger entered me and was soon joined by another. Camus moved his fingers in a scissor motion that made me squirm a little in discomfort. Noticing, Camus apologized before inserting a third finger. The burning pain of being stretched was forgotten as he hit a spot deep inside of me. A loud moan escaped my mouth and soon I was pushing back against his fingers, making sure that sweet spot was brushed against each time.

"Alright, I think your ready," he said, removing his fingers and positing his manhood at my entrance.

With a quick thrust, he was fully seated in my body. Kissing me on the lips, he pulled back out so only the tip was in before plunging back in. A wave of pleasure swept through my body as he hit that magic spot. Camus proceeded to experiment with how he could make me moan at different levels of volume just by changing the way he thrust into me.

It seemed an eternity of upward bound pleasure had passed before I came with a cry. With my body tightening around him, Camus orgasmed as well, filling me with his hot seed.

After the pleasure faded and Camus had returned to his quarters, the pain and loss returned. I cried my self to sleep. It was the first of many long nights.

I avoided Camus as much as possible. The only time we were even in the same room was during the officer meetings. He seemed to understand how I felt for the knight made no attempt to seek me out.

"Lord Rand!" cried out a voice, shaking me out of my thoughts.

Freed Y came to a halt in front of me, panting from his running. "Lord Shu has called a meeting," he reported.

"So it is time," I said to myself.

The next battles brought the downfall of the Highland Prince Luca. His mad eyes haunted my sleep as the insane prince's face was replaced by my beloveds.

In a way my dreams proved true. **_King_** Joei didn't show a sign of feeling as he demanded that the Dragon Army surrender to him. Only Shu's quick thinking and Pilika's bravery saved us.

The next few meeting s between Joei and I had similar results. The only time he reminded me of the boy he once was, was when Nanami was fatally wounded at Rockaxe Castle.

I stopped caring about the Dragon Army and my role as its leader. It didn't matter to me. I was tired of it all. Even taking back Muse and finally defeating the Highland army meant little without the ones I loved.

As my role in the Dragon Army ended, I was asked to be the leader of the new country soon to form. I declined and left the meeting hall.

While others celebrated, I took refuge by the small pond in front of the west wind of the castle. The two children who were usually duck watching were absent, probably with their parents.

From out of my pocket I drew a dagger I had filched from a drunken Eilie (trust me, not a pretty site.) I held it to my writs and closed my eyes. I had only added a little bit of pressure when I heard someone shout out, "No!"

My eyes flew open and took in the Blinking Mage Viki, her brown eyes filled with tears. Looking over her shoulder was Luc the Wind Mage, his green eyes as unreadable as ever.

Brandishing her staff, Viki shouted, "Shazam-oops!"

Luc had knocked her spell off course. She had probably meant to teleport the dagger, but ended up teleporting me instead!

In no more than the blink of an eye; I found myself in a forest clearing all too familiar to me. Here was where my old unit, the Unicorn Brigade had been betrayed and slaughtered by Luca Blight's order. The cliff that Joei and I had made our promise to return to if we were ever separated was around here.

Drawn by a small hope I walked up the trail. I immediately spotted the "x" carved into a rock. A movement beside it drew my eyes.

There was Joei, clad in his old blue outfit, with his battle staff gripped in his hands. "Sp you came, Rand. I'd wondered if you'd remember your promise."

Please don't get upset about the whole Camus and Rand scene. Rand is NOT a slut! I was just trying to point out that when people are hurting emotionally they seek out ways to find comfort. Drinking alcohol is one way, which didn't work for Rand due to his rune. Others use drugs, which I am **_so_** not touching. And some have sex. I'm sure the words "comfort sex" have some meaning. Anyway as you can see, Rand totally regrets it, so he won't be trying that anymore unless it's with Joei. Heh. Heh.

One more chapter to go! See you next time and don't forget to review!


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